I’ve always been open and honest about my life (I’ve blogged about my bowels not working for christ sake), but I’ve always kept more personal stuff close to my chest. Now it’s time to lift the lid.
Although I’ve been blogging and quite open with my life for the past 8 years, my love life hasn’t been discussed at all.
Mostly because there wasn’t anything going on (sob). But now I’m delighted to talk about it and introduce you to my partner of 18 months.
Meet my partner
I’ve been single near enough all my life, only having a few secondary school romances that lasted a few weeks.
I wanted to put my career first in my teen years, as romances at that age rarely work out. Plus when I did start seeing someone, I wanted to put all of my time into that person, and I knew I couldn’t.
Well, around one year ago, I decided it was time to stop focusing so hard on work and find somebody who I could share my life with (as corny as it sounds).
I knew I wasn’t going to be your average young single guy looking for a partner. I knew I wanted to find someone real, driven, intelligent and someone who loved coupons as much as I do (is that too much to ask?)
Finding that on a dating app though? I thought impossible. I decided to try it out – but avoided Tinder (because I’d heard horror stories).
Into the unknown…
Looking around, I signed up for a couple of apps (namely Bumble) and began swiping. I don’t know how most people can date this way. Simply seeing a picture and a brief bio, and you have to decide if you like them or not? It felt so bizarre to me.
I had… NO matches. Like, none. This was at the time I had my long and floppy hair, so was it that? Maybe. Was it due to the fact I only swiped right on about 5 people? Probably.
After around a week of using this app, I talked to one person. Only one. And their responses were all one word answers, so maintaining conversation felt so forced. I started to give up hope.
That’s when my luck changed. I got a match one Saturday morning on someone that I really found attractive.
My first date
We clicked near enough instantly. We would have something in common about everything we discussed. It seemed a near perfect fit.
I kid you not, within 24 hours of us first matching, we were meeting up for breakfast. I was terrified as it was my first ever date, but felt really optimistic about it. It looked like something good could come from it.
From what was just supposed to be a breakfast date, we ended up spending the whole day together. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
By the end of the date, I said to them “I won’t be needing these apps anymore” and hastily deleted them from my phone with pride. I was worried I was coming on too strong (it was only the first date), but luckily they felt the same.
Want to know the happy ending to that story? We are still together over a year later. I’m now realising how lucky I was to find someone after one week of being on dating apps and find someone who fits me like a glove… but I did.
‘WHAT IS HER NAME’ I hear you scream. Well… it’s actually a guy. His name is Ollie.
Who is Ollie?
Weirdly enough – Ollie lives over 100 miles away from me in Hampshire. Despite the distance, it hasn’t stopped us, and we’ve been seeing each other for a year and a half now.
He works in IT, so I’m lucky to have someone like him in case anything on my website goes wrong!
He wasn’t into couponing as much as I was when we first met, but that was a task I was willing to take on. Now he has an abundance of apps on his phone and wont buy anything if it’s not through cashback – good lad!
It was clear when we first met we had a lot in common. We may not have shared all the same interests, but our values are pretty much aligned – and we’ve bonded quicker than I ever thought I would with another person.
In the space of 18 months, we’ve travelled to 7 countries, and done basically everything together.
How did you realise you were gay?
I didn’t know that I was gay up until the time that I met Ollie. My whole teenage life I imagined having a wife and starting a family of new Coupon Kids, but this is far from it. My story is probably a very weird one.
In 2018 I had surgery to remove some diseased parts of bowel. I learned from my doctor after my recovery, that the disease I had basically stopped my body from progressing through puberty, as I had it at such a young age.
I’ve always been skinny and quite weak, but shortly after surgery, my biceps became twice the size! You may wonder what this has to do with it… but my teenage hormones were at bay as well.
I wasn’t interested in anyone (male or female) through my teenage years, and once I was suddenly healthy again, it kicked me into gear. (Not in the gross way, in the scientific way).
So after my surgery, that was the real turning point for me (if you’ll pardon the pun).
Looking back, there were some signs that I could have been gay through my teenage years, but thought nothing of it (even men find Leonardo Di Caprio attractive – right?)
Even when I started on the dating apps, I didn’t know what I wanted. I put on my profile that I was interested in men AND women, but found that I was only attracted to the men. As soon as I met Ollie and connected so much with him, I knew where I stood.
How has coming out been?
I’ve never really publicly come out to anyone, people just naturally found out through conversation. I’ve never felt the need to make a song and dance about who I’m attracted to (apart from in this blog).
Everyone who I have spoken to about Ollie have acted normally. Not once have I had any negative feedback or judgement (even from my religious friends). And that’s the way it should be.
Although I’m in love with a man, I still don’t understand the obsession with Kylie Minogue or drag… so none of that has changed!
What’s going to change?
Nothing! Absolutely nothing. You may start seeing pictures of Ollie popping up on the blog more often now you know who he is.
Hopefully this has been something a bit different and uplifting to read than the stories circulating at the moment!